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标题: 跟贾陆英老师学《论语》为政篇第五章 2013年12月24日 圣诞快乐！ [打印本页]

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作者: 老猫    时间: 2013-12-24 17:34
标题: 跟贾陆英老师学《论语》为政篇第五章 2013年12月24日 圣诞快乐！

+ Z& B1 v1 U) C; d) x2 A" cmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: 4 L8 k. {3 |9 j# `, g3 T- dTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今日圣诞，老猫先祝大家圣诞快乐，虽然是洋人的节日：）下午贾陆英老师继续在老秘网 N8 W, q4 {1 ]# E; r0 U7 Xmso-font-kerning:0pt">QQ' x5 c; m; e5 V* x' Cfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 8 w; d* V6 ~0 k9 { |$ Imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。6 d% v: e4 v. {# [mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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, t( ^, H2 r1 b0 A font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾陆英：5 R# O8 a3 h2 r4 Y1 @ mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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+ V" I3 {# t d5 _ 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 

9 ?+ |" V. _4 |3 Z0 D1 ~+ rfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第1 O& \, A( h( ]2 Y3 A5 L( m, ]6 o4 _mso-font-kerning:0pt">56 x! I& P. V+ S6 } font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">章：, L! A- ^& L2 {/ m5 ?5 A* j5 _ mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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2•5 4 @7 m+ X7 ~8 V+ [3 y8 @ Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：# d+ q* M% t' V+ J" zmso-font-kerning:0pt">“4 ~7 C( W: C3 h2 b, ?( x mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违。4 h1 {' [; t9 X& o( G mso-font-kerning:0pt">”! u5 f5 y9 E) _! _: q- { mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：) L! V5 O: `" M mso-font-kerning:0pt">“! Z3 H5 V' i- Dmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。3 x3 ~. `' L- t j) i% f* t+ P1 U2 ` color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”5 ~( _* g4 x4 I x: W. B Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; ! L. f5 L+ I5 r5 dmso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟曰：3 B6 P, Y% i& D5 Q4 h1 o5 m @# P* s. kmso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ {4 P7 N/ E* e D mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; 5 n% r/ q% I \mso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？- k0 x* l" W$ y, F0 E z k4 V9 n mso-font-kerning:0pt">”' ]- c. J6 k& \. e: Z mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; ' u0 y4 p- b3 @ ^& w" U4 v5 w5 Z$ imso-font-kerning:0pt">子曰：( I( ] o8 S" o$ c$ e @6 I. _ mso-font-kerning:0pt">“9 p2 `5 i0 D1 v. \mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。' M* e# b" X* S& e( tcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”

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/ z1 C. g" [/ x Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。6 `6 S0 W ^4 h mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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) X" c* Y) a% A, [10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
& Q$ G1 T( R( d j# o7 I; _9 P# u6 f. W$ ` I0 I: K. @ Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：& _' z! d% k- l1 e( x10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“7 d/ A9 b( ^8 v* S3 P% X mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; 8 i# k% j r k. l& v6 `mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。8 I/ G6 ]3 k$ T5 `9 R& b! d 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”( I# ]1 G+ `1 s% b% `1 m4 p" {2 c- L mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; : ?4 W, c+ w. x7 z7 |" P# Emso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：" Z* m& z! [- r0 V0pt">"+ b- ` |& \ B1 [ mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: / |! I7 E, q5 N5 q0 ~Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。4 ~* `7 I% b8 M6 y. R mso-font-kerning:0pt">") I4 A* j) I# u# b: | font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟说： v$ V$ T4 ]' _) K, g mso-font-kerning:0pt">"3 B7 i3 w( e& E. {/ r font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢* B9 t& _4 Q& D8 R. G, Q+ }mso-font-kerning:0pt">?" & {7 X- A+ c* V5 e+ Z font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：9 T5 E' C8 F9 \mso-font-kerning:0pt">"7 M' f& v% s% V% e5 Y7 Bfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。( P9 G. a& S8 H2 m' ? mso-font-kerning:0pt">"

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2 c& h% c. _& F& l3 N 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
3 [0 b0 u8 A2 X; y* v) w2 L8 M. r7 p _4 E) l: U) z# U w7 H9 R10.5pt;font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 0 R$ g' J* G- A; A6 [$ zmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是% t. q/ h( K5 L/ K+ L 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“- T% H0 T: R/ A8 O. q/ L3 n4 sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; # h2 H0 x( y7 f8 Y: q$ }mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违( E* F0 u* l- h; q/ f* M& T10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”8 T* G c+ f1 W8 K font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; y6 K6 O* d' Q( ?4 _3 P5 b, Amso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">？. Y- X1 a8 {! z7 B$ q' y$ @ 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">

. q5 ], f' \5 r8 \5 h" y 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
1 E, D9 J7 c! ~# ]* Y3 s. B8 Q, D) x- k9 t. C: y5 _Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得 I. J6 ?7 S4 n) d mso-font-kerning:0pt">“! Q, W" `* L" ?: P3 X font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违: G. a1 _: E' u# S mso-font-kerning:0pt">”$ h3 S& R: w4 k font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲9 l/ {8 k1 y: |% } mso-font-kerning:0pt">“% \$ B0 ~+ J1 q+ y# N+ P1 rfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; / N7 x/ d( a9 S _( z3 Hmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违( k, m) s/ ]0 K( U4 r) G% L, I mso-font-kerning:0pt">”7 t$ g0 X' ?# N3 I* I font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; / d: K9 w- j5 emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，4 A/ l9 z* E/ V1 R: A3 L$ y" e& p/ V3 U mso-font-kerning:0pt">“# ]# m* [$ G7 Y8 ^font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 6 I3 U3 h; l: P4 imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。3 k! T* {5 K6 n. umso-font-kerning:0pt">”; R& V. Q( I9 y+ N+ \' r. e3 Gfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; - j; @" d4 n. X7 d* _0 c# p% nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。; w3 R6 W" x0 F! w4 N! E' Qmso-font-kerning:0pt">

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# L! x( _# a F4 }' e2 F1 D: J) k5 u! K) J" c% q/ L8 x10.5pt;font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 7 R2 q. O- A( W( \% R. smso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：为什么说以礼事亲才是孝？" j/ P5 K3 Q. t( q; f1 i 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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9 m8 ^1 j/ s+ t7 h: ITahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。/ L- i @0 a' z. ?/ Q+ |mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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3 v% P Z! O. t8 m7 _/ T ^6 j 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 

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3 W; q& A& P% [ mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义; q# ~3 }; w0 L) o. ]5 J mso-font-kerning:0pt">
N. a/ L* W# V! m) |- @% B* s6 q- x& |! _) PTahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; # F! B4 |' {# ]1 Z* F3 e6 Imso-font-kerning:0pt">更准确些！ h1 b3 u1 R( z u" a10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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6 G) o- |. S) u2 m- Z" C5 a7 rmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾陆英：' b H8 _7 i8 [, _5 F( c6 s6 P 0pt">

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5 ^; _4 \* D3 E n0 b' j( U; hmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: - v% G) w7 Q: z, p1 H; P2 U+ s9 ZTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！' K# v4 }& y' O1 H' d" r/ X* R' Tmso-font-kerning:0pt">—— s/ A3 e" L- u/ c# }; z3 L4 V. Rfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; N4 q/ d5 m) G' `9 Gmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。! d. N6 v7 O# o4 J mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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) B: Z4 t5 I8 F+ q' \font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">夕惕若：( ]) H7 b( Z8 ~+ S% W3 fmso-font-kerning:0pt">

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4 k0 w9 h# j( M. X& Zmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: : s# n7 p( g$ p2 t/ KTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述0 K: A' u% |# s2 P mso-font-kerning:0pt">28 F5 o" `5 k; u1 C/ H/ I5 Q' l font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; * G) d3 o. W6 R9 P8 m& P- c/ n# G/ Umso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊7 H: o# O \' } mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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7 W" y5 q7 \& F$ t mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: ; E9 H+ f+ x, w. ~. ^% q, ]: wTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">乃群：9 ~' d+ S+ B6 b( `. p! j, l0pt">

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5 h9 ]# k1 f# D( Y, mTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 

) k) ~6 k# ?/ A' K D( C! d mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。: }: _3 C. f& v. omso-font-kerning:0pt">

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' z2 ^& D5 ]% m5 l& m" @7 H0 nmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾陆英：% U8 L' ^- @1 T/ C+ \; c0 D% ^ 0pt">

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2 c+ k& \2 e% z2 I8 R2 z7 f mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: 0 E) t- u7 s S9 L, v# O4 ] d2 Z" {Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。/ W6 S7 K" \+ y Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">——) E1 G6 y: t8 Y( S: p$ M; G5 D font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; , N8 g+ K$ s3 lmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。$ B. K0 v5 E& {: N mso-font-kerning:0pt">——2 Z. k' p4 [: t/ mfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; # X! e0 j: Y& lmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：5 x1 u& e# M9 {- I mso-font-kerning:0pt">“8 G) `" ^- V+ Ufont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。0 Q3 F' `) T! c" {# fmso-font-kerning:0pt">”' E! v! q `* `1 Xfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个+ a$ J: _' e. Y {8 r) y# P mso-font-kerning:0pt">“- A1 y' H, @% Vfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬- n- k* Q4 Z' x5 [, }0 gmso-font-kerning:0pt">”0 W7 C C. c( f/ W" {+ V2 \ font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为3 }5 P# g8 e2 K$ U r mso-font-kerning:0pt">“/ y) f w# a7 w( D8 v font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道5 ]8 `8 s0 i, h; D, C: @: ~ mso-font-kerning:0pt">”0 m% }5 @; f1 j+ o' S! O8 K$ |font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; # m! d Z1 g1 o( b! f0 i& s" E4 Mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。2 t0 j4 W' P, y- h4 M2 ^! r; a mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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7 a9 F" w3 b& X- b# Jmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: 7 L' k: |$ V' i W1 gTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">舍得：4 C# N l& ~2 y2 w! w: u 0pt">

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: W [9 L4 O# Q0 }1 ?2 j mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的7 p" L r y1 Tmso-font-kerning:0pt">“# ^$ f9 g" N$ Q/ k6 o" q7 M6 T font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; B7 {5 I9 Y# R, C& b: _$ n9 cmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺% ?" d# | g: k8 Lmso-font-kerning:0pt">”- s) C& _) x( e+ p: ] font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思. b) y; h) g7 ^1 w0 Y9 K; v" Q; |mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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( I5 M$ ^& a/ u" o. U4 h2 N mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: 7 ^% p9 l5 ]+ I CTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">小风飕飕地：. K9 J! d9 ^- m9 f( P$ U0pt">

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# _6 O3 f- b' s mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: + k, s8 t6 C+ B( ` e8 ~Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这告诉从政者推行孝道可以大大减少管理的成本，可谓扭住了问题的关键！5 s" E* i2 K' y, A# w" A mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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) i. D \& M( @. S5 k; k4 u; L mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">冰尘仙子：$ `( X4 j$ R' \; E6 p2 w+ k4 q 0pt">

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) Y; O; ~5 `# y4 a: Hmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">请教贾老，为什么我面对外人总是温和有礼，可面对爸妈时却笑不出来呢？对爸妈也没有很多耐心。我妈有时一生气了，就说我对她还不如一个外人。其实我心里并不是这么想的，我该怎么做？/ U& u: O( W, `mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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0 d g% N' o6 D% N/ J8 p2 r9 s$ Y, T mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾陆英：: I) A o) F# e$ y8 ` 0pt">

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) L% k, q/ q4 i. j$ T. U3 L8 W( u! Zmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: 5 W7 ~! {# P# ]# Z! OTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。) V6 f1 w9 S% A) y. U- _mso-font-kerning:0pt">——7 T. o6 z% z/ e6 o font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">是的，尽孝，还是要在父母在世时，从物质与精神两方面去尽心，做得尽可能好一些，让父母幸福渡晚年。* S. r# Y+ w L" p mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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# |- n$ A3 u6 d, |4 kmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: , s3 t! B. c% tTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">仙子你怎么看怎么像我国的象征啊。。。对外彬彬有礼，笑容可掬，对内唉. R3 [5 n+ g: K; r- Y' Qmso-font-kerning:0pt">……' R4 \% g4 {3 y7 s/ |. J7 h3 b2 ]font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; ; J9 s$ e8 g' umso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过正是心爱的人，才会真面目示之。我儿子也说我就是对其他孩子好，对他不好，一直想换个妈妈。啥是孝，以顺为先。顺父母意，遂父母心$ l! T9 x% z* q# V1 ]" Smso-font-kerning:0pt">

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9 Q7 H$ \1 r" G$ e- j1 i. ]8 t( n" J mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">小风飕飕地：* A0 a. d" B& J( S6 N 0pt">

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- h1 G5 n- o9 }9 j1 u: x4 ]+ }$ Cmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">而且越来越觉的爸妈很笨，我和他们最简单的对话半天他们都反应不过来。0 z3 R2 S6 D! ?2 [1 k" vmso-font-kerning:0pt">

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) h* S. \: n2 M" R5 \ mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: : k. |# I# {0 @! t9 Q5 p& b3 eTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">仙子，这个真的是你的问题。父母年老了，肯定会迟钝点。和父母不要谈工作，要多谈你小时候的事，他们年轻时候的事。谈他们感兴趣的事，那样你就不会觉得他们听不懂你的话了。子欲养而亲不待，才可怜。一个电话三分钟，，真的没时间吗？不是，是没想到* o) l' n3 Y( E, d3 Hmso-font-kerning:0pt">

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1 l% I' x$ F& V6 f& i( | mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: " ~! k$ z' N3 V; N2 i' @$ T) kTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">舍得：3 o5 d$ }: P5 {6 Z8 q/ ^& O 0pt">

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- ?* D$ x1 m; d8 v& Y- f mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子在论述3 r3 R: o- `: _- |3 c4 e0pt">“/ e$ ^* m& b& t: S6 v; ]0 o- ^( U& k Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违为孝0 N0 k6 c( O- d* m" D d. r 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”& A; f" a. |7 s( a2 ]mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">的同时，也说9 |7 m7 l5 d2 |6 {+ h10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“4 U: Q$ W1 U! g: g, e0 o9 B7 v; gmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">事父母' q$ d/ {8 ]0 b' N+ d 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,3 A) ?7 L% M7 e0 z* |6 u$ Tmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; 5 ?) B* s4 ]- a4 A" Imso-font-kerning:0pt">几谏3 H( k2 C) ^1 H0 c9 ] font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,0 B) | ]. u8 Kmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; " J' [3 o5 B3 k& u: K8 t2 \; o: Mmso-font-kerning:0pt">见志不从+ k" y# l5 p( x" H2 _2 N& j 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,8 _# W* C& g2 L$ r- b5 g8 m2 U mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; * D2 V: V/ E Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">又敬不违" g& ?! a$ a' O1 @+ E, I) ` 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,! G6 t1 ^' J$ Omso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; . N, c; h0 q! |; J' nmso-font-kerning:0pt">劳而不怨' D2 a6 a6 S9 U& R/ E. B) C- a6 e 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”$ D+ t7 h! [; j: C c: w; Bmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; $ s1 P& g3 `1 m* Z! ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">，也就是说无违不是盲从。其实说都很容易，真正做起来，还要坚守1 U- n4 ]8 _0 `; T' o% |0pt">“* l1 D5 M* @& o: \" B, |5 ^Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; - y/ W& e8 K* `9 `# }mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼) f# O/ E4 h5 p7 S0 `4 E font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”% K. d; }; v+ d& { mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; ; c. p+ d; F' amso-font-kerning:0pt">这个意念。就连基本的给父母经常打电话，我都做得不到位。己所不欲，勿施于人。我感觉更多的是处事原则。对于父母，还是解决好礼这个关键。是敬而不违。) }' a/ l! e& C5 `6 Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">

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1 z3 d# h/ ]% Y+ u4 S3 E' amso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: , `) V# Z8 Q7 I. r3 [7 s5 S4 O$ ]2 bTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">曾子曰：' P" o' Q8 s) W2 y9 k( q Y- P0pt">“' t5 j" |+ m% ] m. W# bTahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; # D8 O: _* C3 l% I9 }6 x) ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">敢问子从父之令，可谓孝乎？2 g7 g2 h# m% s4 S2 ?10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”" K: @# N, [# j" O. @! g& M3 y mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">子曰：/ T2 E+ v- z7 t) k+ c- ^9 j 10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“% o/ E& G7 L T: C8 { }) s2 {mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">是何言与，是何言与！昔者天子有争臣七人，虽无道，不失其天下；诸侯有争臣五人，虽无道，不失其国；大夫有争臣三人，虽无道，不失其家；士有争友，则身不离于令名；父有争子，则身不陷于不义。. V0 d3 a8 m6 s( x* d mso-font-kerning:0pt">” 8 K3 E- s& I& T( `, sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; * s; i V8 M M W8 h9 l( P2 A3 mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">曾子说6 X9 k2 f `9 t% I* w# u P- \color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">∶4 ?0 H( x' B5 f9 V+ C# `2 y10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“: W7 O& V# ~9 Y. X" X& B mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; mso-font-kerning:0pt">敢问老师，儿子一切听从父亲的命令，就可以称得上是孝吗？' K! e e1 A( R0 N5 Z' Z 0pt">”. `, K$ n8 b: U1 y6 m# ?4 iTahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black; 4 }. ^2 R& I( p) C( d0 lmso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说! x- M( m; P1 H: Yfont-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">∶3 a& Z2 C& S: z9 ^) I" ^ mso-font-kerning:0pt">“3 c5 |5 I0 J7 w$ `$ y4 hfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么话呢？这是什么话呢？上古的时候，假如天子身边有( O/ a3 g! o& @mso-font-kerning:0pt">7" L; c; Q0 u9 J8 s, N* jfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; ( Y: M2 h$ z+ q! umso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个直言相谏的诤臣，那么，即使他无道，有诤臣规劝他改正错误，也不会失去他的天下；假如诸侯身边有/ Z5 _/ j2 g( g: Y% f W mso-font-kerning:0pt">56 V4 {. u9 v* w0 b% j$ x6 t8 }. ? font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 3 \$ g( D7 Q8 J9 r: K, C/ E% imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个直言相谏的诤臣，即使他无道，也不会失去他受封的国土；假如卿大夫身边有4 X& J5 j: k% S3 t- n$ Omso-font-kerning:0pt">31 }8 z( G+ O: m! `. C) I2 Rfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个直言相谏的诤臣，即使他无道，也不会失去自己的家。士虽是普通官员，假如有直言相谏的朋友，那么美好的名声就不会从自己身上丧失；父亲身边假如有敢于直言相劝的儿子，那他也不会做错事，使自己陷于不义之中。1 a0 b8 y" h \9 s! C! x4 l" F# ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">”——& N* n5 y4 S9 P G2 ~( Ffont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 4 s+ ~/ N" }1 O6 ~mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">《孝经》。就连基本的给父母经常打电话，我都做得不到位。6 g- i1 _1 E V+ e( y7 d) i mso-font-kerning:0pt">——4 g2 G1 G6 Y1 S* D6 C font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">意识到了，改正就好。. _" d' z8 M$ T0 c9 m1 T; W mso-font-kerning:0pt">

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3 w5 b2 E: v- H i1 j Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> “& X! W# w5 |1 @ font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; & g9 ~( ^$ ^' d- P' amso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">故当不义，则子不可以不争于父，臣不可以不争于君。故当不义则争之，从父之令，又焉得为孝乎！6 v) @, u8 @5 j t/ I( b8 I/ k mso-font-kerning:0pt">”4 N/ H! J. h. Cfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">因此，在遇到不符合道义的事情时，做儿子的不可以不劝阻于他的父亲；做臣子的不可以不谏诤于他的君王。因此遇到不义之事就要谏诤劝阻。如果只是遵从父亲的命令，又怎么能算得上是尽孝呢$ e2 h$ J. Z" e mso-font-kerning:0pt">?——& N% ^, n' L! Q8 yfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">《孝经》( ~7 x) A: M8 f1 C8 B( Wmso-font-kerning:0pt">

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* w6 O1 J# ^3 q, e7 ~8 O& Emso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family: ( h5 l; V3 l5 d1 \Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">小风飕飕地：+ o( b% R( f, q1 u& _! t 0pt">

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G3 S5 R font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; : v! j8 M% F6 v0 [( hmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝顺4 N; o. e. ~* v4 @3 S mso-font-kerning:0pt">”5 l8 x# ^6 u; e( tfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">与7 Y8 b9 n; }" _+ H3 z mso-font-kerning:0pt">“( I: u1 i, z: d6 J. B, c' Afont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">谏诤1 b5 v6 u+ _8 m8 d$ E' y1 p mso-font-kerning:0pt">”1 Q/ h* D+ g Z& afont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的关系。俗话说，' y; V5 W) l4 }! 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H1 y5 q mso-font-kerning:0pt">”2 S, f" ]$ H6 `/ nfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">理解为一切顺从、听命于父母的观点，流传甚广，影响颇大。其实，孔子是不赞成子女一切顺从于父母的。他所主张的父子关系，是父慈子孝。他所主张的兄弟关系，是兄友弟恭。双方之间是相互的、对等的，而不是一方绝对地服从另一方。所谓7 e& Q5 [/ Z$ l* emso-font-kerning:0pt">“" q1 p$ D; A$ f8 S% s6 Wfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父叫子亡，子不得不亡' r! X$ r7 }% [! R$ e4 dmso-font-kerning:0pt">”0 \3 i- e X8 I& }+ c% m; | font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; ' J8 p$ b) e) X0 |) ], }; nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">之类，是后世的一些人为了适应封建专制主义需要，而附加上去的糟粕。《论语》中明确记载，孔子所说的孝就是4 b' c# G6 w# E# m$ W' b, w5 w# z& wmso-font-kerning:0pt">“/ K" M. j$ e3 ~2 Q: M% H" x font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违: j; K# Y. b1 F+ D" Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">” M; c" P% x; s! j+ A font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，是指4 Q2 [/ s# k8 V/ W' g4 W' Z mso-font-kerning:0pt">“, e. a. o. q% ?6 `" K font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 7 a( T, j+ l& l) omso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违于礼9 q# f2 C- a+ _, vmso-font-kerning:0pt">”& Z& P2 B. N( b0 D- O font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，子女对父母不符合礼的言行，要1 u# d1 W" u) F2 G3 [( B mso-font-kerning:0pt">“! ]$ ~( j/ X" I- B1 m# S font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; 1 U7 T) ?8 H) g, C6 ~0 O: W; qmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">几谏/ z( P0 D/ k( D1 L' g, Zmso-font-kerning:0pt">”1 u* V6 \# k4 S" W1 s3 ?/ v+ {5 } font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，也就是委婉地规劝。《孝经》在/ p8 J1 h, @* l5 n4 c/ P ? mso-font-kerning:0pt">“2 x I' D; X& f; u" X/ Q font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">谏诤' W b# H* O# p7 A+ @ mso-font-kerning:0pt">”1 U# Y9 X1 i0 [0 ^font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; ' {) r' q" p! 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作者: 小风飕飕地    时间: 2013-12-25 16:38
贾老师讲得不错，大家发言很踊跃，尤其那个“小风飕飕地”发言很积极，很好！大家要向他学习！{:soso_e128:}

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作者: ︶ㄣ雪域鈊    时间: 2013-12-25 17:04
学习、领会、顿悟、提高，贾老师讲的精彩，大家都很出彩。老秘网我们的共同的平台!

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作者: 时间飞鸟    时间: 2013-12-26 09:42
贾老师在研究古人和古汉语方面有研究，佩服

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作者: villager    时间: 2013-12-26 15:39
不错，学习了，佩服佩服

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作者: chyzhang    时间: 2013-12-27 09:52
贾老师讲的不错，学习了，谢谢

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作者: 岚岛散人    时间: 2013-12-27 20:42
现在用法律手段规定子女要常回家看看，但是由于时间、金钱等各方面的原因，又有多少人是想回而不能回的呢，这个道德层面的问题上升到法律层面到底有什么意义，始终不大明白

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作者: villager    时间: 2013-12-27 22:39

1 u% ^3 _6 d' B贾老师讲的不错，学习了，谢谢

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作者: 夕惕若    时间: 2014-1-6 08:46
好好学习，天天向上{:soso_e195:}

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作者: 功夫猫    时间: 2015-3-6 11:35
我这里显示的是一堆乱码！！

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作者: 秦疆    时间: 2015-3-6 11:57
我这里显示也是一堆乱码，怎么回事

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作者: ecosxs    时间: 2019-2-18 15:22
怎么都乱码了呢

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