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font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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0pt">（根据文字内容整理）
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">时间：# m* M v. Z# R- X! o) A4 dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20146 f' o3 E( T# p4 T. f/ s4 d
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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4 x3 D0 O& ?3 c+ f! m# ^, o楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：) M \6 A2 A! i3 d1 x- D
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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, {( S$ P. a% l+ v& z! n楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：+ V2 M! K% V# _( t) j# `& }
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理：3 C) B z9 W6 {mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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, p5 r' G# S8 p0 d$ n! @( ]* |0 k9 c ` R, rline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">9 f5 d$ J/ y4 j9 Xfont-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">7 C0 w+ H, z2 {- I# z. @9 m! g& c"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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" F2 ^1 j6 V+ A d) r$ U! u j, Z& m) S: @. tline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">: f4 f' m) l1 r2 J7 ] r* f# t, E! C"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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; s* Y7 W( k3 ^# O- L, w7 ^3 q, iline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">$ O) a+ x# |( z- l"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。) g" S* `& h1 ~: Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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# ?8 ^7 w% r2 T楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：* ^) r5 n3 l* s% E0 H kmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。" y% H. Z+ ~# ^5 p' u! C" n/ vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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( ^/ p1 t4 n2 W8 N楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：5 h, e( g& P/ Qmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。; ?- H9 A: h/ c) Q! D
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。& G$ p1 _2 \+ ?
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢8 g# i- ?6 y) I# p7 W1 P3 Omso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,! \1 ^; Y# ]/ y$ J5 j9 h, ]& i( Y14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:3 N K9 N+ A/ R% L4 amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。' m7 |9 X& C# b6 Jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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* H' @+ y* @$ E7 R楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：! O6 B; e0 }' g* q
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。! `1 m) z( F3 t3 e+ Mmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; t" {' h, n8 D4 u" ~3 y- Z宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建6 f9 V3 `* }+ c& b1 w( r) X
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、一以贯之谋创建。- N2 L- m) I+ P- F7 I仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、规划引领明方向。/ Z( L0 P1 M" j+ V+ [+ T
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">2 L0 ^$ o5 z5 U# U仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">3" M2 I6 n: H8 `, ]9 l( W
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。; i3 x/ t E& S仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。$ S, N6 `, |2 U7 T+ E+ s仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效$ ]; b1 | \5 q/ K% @+ sfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;8 k) u/ O% y! `, P
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的$ h# N9 r. C6 m8 l& dfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;6 G, z6 u4 I7 R0 b
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏7 G& f) M4 v# o" _( q
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。$ r$ X# W& E; f6 P, H0 x
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。 _ C5 w6 _+ R e: wfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;$ g4 T! N5 \% v
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2 n, N" N/ h3 j/ sline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; D1 I4 Q/ f1 I仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 2: b; |" s! h. a0 E! T4 E m宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、产村联动促增收。, i# O- W! O! L/ v3 Z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重，因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势，规划产业布局，整合产业资源，大力发展专业市场，壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业，引导周边1 s. w, S) V+ q0 i& L3 o* I/ u* h
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个自然村向中心村集聚，建成了拥有* Q2 b) ~: d: }. T% R$ ^( @mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">5339 w, w( j( G. V! b4 K
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000( c/ u# Q- c5 c T: W
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻: c S6 f& u, b. G. P! {) z' f0 O j
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j' ?/ q0 y8 C5 \宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口- M4 l; m2 p' s! E& kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">25009 ?, C1 a* A2 V8 H/ X
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/ W: I" O* C# }楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌/ l" l& m. C* N$ V% r1 umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？7 I% a/ x+ ?& e4 |" J3 m% ]
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:+ u1 H. {, P; {9 {# Vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。- N3 S1 m8 w% t. @6 D9 jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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+ ]! a g4 e) h楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:) s) _. m' R/ }8 i6 R; Smso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。& U3 k8 [0 W( @7 _0 ~) bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：! z6 O# j1 }. B! Umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。+ N( X+ q- t$ umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？4 t: ]; M) e, o0 E0 C/ O( e6 D
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:: }5 G" w$ ^+ o C1 Zmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。5 E" Q. c+ C' Q
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。6 i' T) Z, {& U- m: J5 Q/ bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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+ i( m0 L0 F. d" E3 ?" o1 p0 ]5 j% G6 Eline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly"> z- `3 Z% \9 m( }' O4 \& q14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
( Z: @% l y& Q2 n2 H; X楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:2 [. n1 p! ]5 @* kmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的- D1 W6 @& B% ~ S. R
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5 u. f* p. T- z! V7 v* I+ a3 M宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏1 x3 j3 ]+ U, @$ kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”" ?, K% d. N% |& Z1 }14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
x K( \/ h6 }* W1 \& L宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。3 e/ n8 I5 V+ P1 ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。7 Y+ _, Q! K: b* ]/ R' V9 G
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。4 N$ A: @9 H. C
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6 S# f1 ^5 a3 {楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:- j, [5 }0 |! `mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。; {" Z1 Z/ R7 f3 K& d
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$ y9 a- n4 |/ r( L* K/ f楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:' B5 I y- P: S6 q2 dfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。( m( z$ u: X6 N8 R
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2 @+ ^/ S$ N7 A; Q4 D- [. bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？1 {6 G( \+ Z, c2 qmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。2 j6 [7 G9 a: k& M# a! G6 K
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。9 ]. @: l1 H% e
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1 O- e5 w4 V% L楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:& a" n2 R& U) ~* q* j7 kmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。' V; D: e' ~& N4 C# lmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。* g" u0 x5 W# N E3 T6 Q& ?% smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。6 S+ B6 R) E0 {1 ^mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。. _" u: ]& z$ \9 u
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。! k4 Q/ P6 f7 \' d b0 e
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路3 V6 j0 \% o* A+ |( a
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上，我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容，材料的骨架，也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。. _3 C5 N/ R- x7 N. L8 w4 ]2 vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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5 E2 Y! A$ ? I" y楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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" e, l4 H) l2 S0 k' B楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
