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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。: `3 w& \' X N' S5 wmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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" u. T8 z& I) V$ |4 f1 C' \mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第 P+ B" ]$ Y0 E/ V9 e5 o0 i6 K
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" _% V5 W8 o- G9 }mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：6 s, e+ d/ V0 P8 ^, N+ d0 Xmso-font-kerning:0pt">“1 F: z9 c, f$ [2 ~) X2 Nmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
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# C/ s# T. x3 f9 [; R' ^2 |mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：- u* V9 W" c, i5 t) s- r+ j% P1 vmso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ [3 H, F# v" |: q j Omso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
+ _: \" \ l' I# lmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。& Z" w' O! q0 `3 ]0 c( K
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？9 Z8 G2 v/ J1 }* _, B$ U( {9 B% C/ i
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7 B Z* d2 [8 x: }+ }+ e( V: Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">子曰：/ B: Z: `6 D$ G0 q4 q4 h8 Mmso-font-kerning:0pt">“6 M6 u& o0 U: u. h- Nmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;* \. |. O4 g' w$ E/ E, |
mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。9 G: ?6 F, F' t6 V
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。( G9 H( _+ z- t/ E1 f% H8 nmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：9 N/ C: |( o8 j( {0 ?" h( c
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. v ^7 P; g- vmso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。/ Z8 s3 T d/ ] o+ U. E# }6 S
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3 v# E- A8 Z6 s, rTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。& X( u$ T S+ ]( y3 s' m" l
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/ r4 S- q) B! ]; A8 Y3 y+ z7 |mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢2 v9 q5 I6 s5 i' k; y7 `0 Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">?" ) F' E6 b1 |; B" u+ Hfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;( q% p1 G3 J+ a
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：0 q" F/ \3 M8 K) Vmso-font-kerning:0pt">"9 i+ b1 `) F4 Y8 g$ n6 M
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。 W% v( Y' h9 Y
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& _- g+ q( P0 I/ H3 w% N- cmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是8 }' \: {8 H& @, P6 E" N10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“/ c' P3 |" O" a7 N
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7 j% @/ F4 L% \ _$ K6 {- jmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违; p" c2 k! K& n+ dmso-font-kerning:0pt">”: G; Q/ O6 m5 m. `
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% i9 y x* `& Tmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲+ R: @- V; \* {! I n, jmso-font-kerning:0pt">“+ M v0 U& \+ ufont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;( a) u7 x' X5 ~7 @. p0 _. a
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! B) S4 J9 n! E+ Ymso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，5 l& m! z0 W1 ^% P& d% J8 U
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。( W& Y8 x; d$ W4 z" Zmso-font-kerning:0pt">”. ~3 J6 _1 N1 z0 o& t% B( ufont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
& F" \# f0 H6 p- ]2 R* S( Umso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。: c5 ]* g2 |: T( {4 q3 `& \1 Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。, B1 r5 t& g6 }6 l" B% c+ b2 ]2 Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">
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$ [- a, J5 Q" Z) s \Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义" E3 m' f' g: z
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1 c- S! Q6 g2 @- {+ xTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！6 G/ b( ?/ y: {2 {% O& Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">——6 f* T Z5 d9 s, Z7 e1 qfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;( ^# y5 w2 B7 d1 S
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。! ^7 k- H% G1 w' u" g
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊! |2 y l9 C1 rmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。( ~* J" O$ L! F- _- H }3 l8 i6 `3 m
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孝经
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. u5 D ^0 f( bTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。* j3 W" c. N7 R& M7 Zmso-font-kerning:0pt">——6 f$ A7 o0 o! v% x6 Bfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
$ S2 h) A4 ^! Y7 D# a C3 imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。( R$ x+ a( @1 Amso-font-kerning:0pt">——2 ~ N. `% }4 u, p+ Z& g9 x8 Wfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;: I( p3 \9 p" ^5 m9 U; K
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：! x7 ~& E4 P S
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" g7 t3 ^9 M7 i4 c* kmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。9 z( _4 X) _7 b3 l: I+ p
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个1 h; C$ f2 o6 ?9 a1 c( L& J
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬- J& n7 o1 W9 a8 A- ^- K k! A
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为: }8 j' q! `! {; U4 F) x7 rmso-font-kerning:0pt">“9 L- o( e6 J' u2 I& {
font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
8 R5 y& R6 W/ a0 V* z4 L+ b K0 pmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道# F# |- k- j4 D" t5 X) U' Q; X
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。" `' X7 ^ D( s/ n
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的0 m9 h' o) D9 F
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺0 `, Q. k8 Z" {3 ^1 [mso-font-kerning:0pt">”$ I' P0 v0 g: H, ]4 p& e& }/ ffont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;3 P, X, l$ T) o0 j( k9 t7 E
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思, R. o- N+ d1 q% E$ ymso-font-kerning:0pt">
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