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font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20149 O0 t N$ J$ G/ d. o/ A$ V7 m
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”(QQ群号:366351120)
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲:0 Q2 M- T8 a* Z& h; @. \9 v+ Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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: i0 ]) Q$ s5 ?( Pmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫:某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报,大家帮某同学推敲一组标题,如何?
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"Times New Roman"">(一)立足转型强村,打造宜业乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">2 X$ S* s j0 K+ P2 F- \* Z% I"Times New Roman"">(二)坚持“五水共治”,打造宜人乡村
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"Times New Roman"">(四)突出民生保障,打造宜居乡村。
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& l' F% f- Q# Nmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村,幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的,我的意思是用一根线串起来,让这组小标题形成一个整体。+ I; S0 e; j$ g+ V0 [8 r! @
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分,前半部分亮手段(做法),后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错,但内容上缺少支撑,建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外,感觉题目不足以体现内容。1 [1 C2 [' V& F8 a5 T9 g! o! d
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯,内容来讲有并列的,也有逻辑递进关系,不知如何把握。9 H% b! J6 ?/ Z0 q2 M, ^- S/ o
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点,惠农增收作为增长点呢0 O# p/ O8 h+ O8 j2 }6 [: K
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度: [# ^0 v% {- A Q# omso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下,环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。9 i- |/ i4 ~- d Q+ g6 E
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) a% l4 ]6 G4 k; e6 ]# P/ Z5 `: `- b宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。, V0 F5 X1 S1 T
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2 x3 a6 z9 K0 T8 v+ w9 k+ m0 E+ jline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">' b% ^# ?0 u6 n9 V( F, e! N, B1 ]宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治,美丽乡村显成效- ^0 {- e! F4 a, n& ~font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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, q& k" T7 v v; Yline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">8 S# S; x6 @) c4 N5 w- {宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">(一)坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的0 ^2 A3 |1 [4 v- y2 ffont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;& H3 `: |! X- F1 O0 D' z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏2 H0 T& O8 Q1 C' n8 x
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。) |" a5 t/ w6 |- m8 Q; }) R
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7 K9 s! `- b' I& S% ^/ T! U8 e2 T7 {- c) }* V: j* T/ I( i1 M( hline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">, V1 w6 Y& O# d0 u. M6 o仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 3 f# v. k6 m. h) |) P: n \) O& G宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">(四)坚持把民生保障作为美丽乡村建设的, j- U% P: u4 v7 p9 ], \font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村,通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设,盘活土地,投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村,通过与相邻$ K3 r' ^/ n( J9 z* E" J
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区,集聚人口1 |! s* Q- e+ ^6 gmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500& h2 y) z7 _$ r L+ E: K
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人,盘活建设用地/ }6 G* X Z. R6 j* y9 K0 n& d) v
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">:一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗?) i- A, L9 U! b7 U! {7 H) emso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:, G: [3 k* P- Jmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用,问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结,挂了个美丽乡村的头,较牵强。" e9 v% P3 m6 i
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有,美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的,而不仅仅是村庄整治。: J. q. s! e& p9 x4 x8 W4 z$ o' d: X
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" L: q- R6 f7 _% i5 ~; t# f楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:' I$ V+ {# Y+ h# X- y" v Tmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思,美丽乡村汇报也好,生态乡村汇报也好,这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况,第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报,第三是做法,第四适当点点问题。当然,问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施,应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里,做法没有必要分这么多层次,容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如,要说转型,你想表达的转型是什么转型,怎么转型,转出什么成效,结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。; b3 i8 p9 {8 |9 Y9 b$ imso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:$ E1 d s* m8 L2 J: z" i5 U) x* o% Lmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛?3 Y& D1 L3 x+ a7 V: y# P, Imso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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; W l7 d5 v; T: Z' o/ R7 P楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方: P' r0 K0 h2 i9 R3 Ymso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多,是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象,但具体内容看完却记不住多少。! I6 U# }/ k* V* R c8 U
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说,要理顺一下。举个例子来说,就用猫总凝练的题目(一)坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的# B+ o1 _9 m3 u/ [2 W
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3 Q( ^& ^. ^; A- e$ V+ e宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏! d+ l. ^& A- M: r0 G/ C1 N( emso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”6 X4 b7 j( Y: V* R5 _- H( m! `14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:: }& ~" n3 Y# a
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写,要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。, u7 { ?. P8 [* d+ r" T7 Y* ?5 ~
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下,第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。, d( K# U& q, F0 y3 J( a# a( P
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少,要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建,为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效,亮点多,做法新。7 e' G! W p! T$ D+ N2 w1 u9 I0 ^mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。 _( S9 Q" k* J& @; _/ Kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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$ N1 m' [& b; M$ c5 dmso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法,要把材料融会贯通,并从中提炼观点。& A l+ r9 G% ~, d6 ^' rmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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! r& k0 K B+ A: ]+ o$ }/ ?# A: C' F* fline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">3 O" H7 L; R/ d' x* H w/ Y% afont-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;8 O- r }) L* V8 l2 p
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法,有以下几个方面的建议:一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况,如果要这样一对一的修改,是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的;二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题,可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误,观点(小标题)是根据内容提炼出来的,而本文的小标题对仗工整,乍一看给人的感觉是比较好,但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如:第一部分,作为乡级政府谈何政策支持?乡镇有制定政策的权限吗?8 ~3 S7 E0 y3 W" X: I. R
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市,不是乡镇。; b+ \" W+ ~0 ?7 `mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:3 ]* X0 ~5 h( M9 I" y! G( gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级,包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限,都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外,从文章的提纲看,二级标题不能囊括内容。6 E4 t4 V) b" n% w- u5 T0 Fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:% _0 L F. ]* f9 N4 Z: ~8 G& }mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。5 s% E) e# e0 V3 ~' J
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限,但也可以出台一些举措,比如以奖代补,纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。& z3 Z+ w4 G) _$ M+ o7 X0 k) Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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7 v* V! A6 f8 |, z5 }楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:1 t: d2 Y" |9 i* w# j% Rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对,这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。8 `9 U4 T- L" M+ F; Y- n* c4 ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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& D$ D0 S2 b$ g. T2 x: g9 }* U( C0 |楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">石子云:3 O) r& Y3 b: c+ E
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">@39, s+ M, ?- m; C0 r# Wmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌" X! Q( J0 B# N# R2 X5 ?+ ^
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。& `. a0 S3 f* e1 t# q! m1 V) Kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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) `6 F* r3 S( H: r+ ~7 U* a楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">指尖绚烂:* F7 ^1 H# H6 d" @$ U: Kmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点,有点多,整合下。/ B3 a- m0 t8 v/ o' C& h
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' k5 P' J: |1 G( b' ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路& P, q" w: u3 }& ?14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:* ^1 e6 E# x I- O
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上,我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容,材料的骨架,也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。% s& ^) ^5 p9 l5 c3 d
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来,写加强社区制度建设,对93向社区制度进行梳理,非常平,看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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) P9 w z, R3 X: F% C5 ^7 H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王,刨树刨根,循此,深挖,梳理片段,轮廓,佐以素材,碰撞,修正思路,揉融观点素材,思路为纲,纲举目张,终是符合有关要求,才算好。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难,难在何处,之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来?老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼,从个别字词中联想,从上级文件中生发,从参考资料中化用,从交流碰撞中偶得。