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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。8 y2 `. y) g& h# omso-font-kerning:0pt">
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$ v3 H/ B3 ]$ l. E8 n0 Mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第: J! _ }) n$ W6 L/ C+ ]7 z( ]
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：- ?7 }0 P1 x8 f% o1 P8 Q2 d9 H
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违。' k5 ^5 H+ p% w, g( R$ G
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6 k3 {, e0 O, r: Fmso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：) F/ r0 y+ j4 o' V+ L& ~4 H# Q& @0 W
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。2 r6 G$ T4 [( p; q) F; }
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, B L! s O2 o7 n' umso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？% j6 Z+ A6 I% l5 m; d0 K$ x# V; _% Imso-font-kerning:0pt">”8 ^! j3 h1 n: C7 Smso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。1 U. ^% Q) e6 e! t5 e
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。6 E2 Q2 v7 P( u, W# Wmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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- ]$ H' X1 I; N; G$ P% N/ Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：: o0 t0 `0 j; }* S6 Z10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“, @. [) ], v/ s$ _7 `" B
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。! j( m( E5 Y( z: V4 V: ?+ f% R9 x
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1 e0 B" ~3 K$ j8 {; K& Vmso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：( v0 R& w; ?- L& y( b0pt">"" J- Y; q5 L5 u* k$ W) o
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。! T1 n# F5 B2 S2 s; pmso-font-kerning:0pt">"- J- z. X" x& `3 @* o3 R: ]! xfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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" c% y/ U% j% ?3 G0 Pmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢9 [0 |$ X7 ]* F1 kmso-font-kerning:0pt">?" ! w* M0 H) }+ L" }font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;/ m* Q- ~* O$ e' z9 F' o
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：0 x7 W' h: X' n* z
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+ N# E' H8 n7 ^mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。- M! u8 ?* ^5 G! l D+ r9 u; Cmso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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* u# B; Y( ~) gmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是0 \6 e9 V* f, `, u. C' H2 c
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! T. U& W6 [- |0 j- N/ omso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违3 r8 D$ `% [4 H i) E# u' S6 E/ F
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得4 Z- m. a/ H/ T1 s
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4 u. z; P/ }; l; U6 kmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲! u2 {' C/ j* l! omso-font-kerning:0pt">“* s% s- f, Z* i0 v9 {% ?' P) afont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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! a/ b, ~# [0 [mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，7 o/ f( \+ {, w+ {7 y$ o( fmso-font-kerning:0pt">“: }. X; }# J% f- Pfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;$ k5 q1 _2 T" F7 f% _& y$ ^
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。& P% Y: `. ^$ emso-font-kerning:0pt">”) Z% @/ ]- k1 Q) Sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;; i9 v9 f0 ~: O' q
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。& o4 y, b# V' R! ]( [+ D& {$ Amso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：为什么说以礼事亲才是孝？/ c( v: A. ~4 M$ k0 h2 A
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。4 W- q1 ?8 a; C: z7 L$ C9 \
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( ?' `8 H. l9 H: n9 M8 q0 L7 ~Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义6 K# K) Y1 @+ z6 F4 Umso-font-kerning:0pt">
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8 _3 J' \, M5 ^. NTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！. q3 }* _- \, a5 `mso-font-kerning:0pt">——7 Y9 l$ ]9 p* k' yfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
' L7 L5 O S' m- r9 t9 s1 ~9 M9 emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。4 l% }9 o+ F9 _5 j7 @2 c
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6 D# P }$ y% U: a5 d& p2 x$ u1 vTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述# i9 R8 j7 g# o6 B; O2 i. umso-font-kerning:0pt">23 W S* e; x, H
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊# F, K# i, b# ]* zmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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' r+ e. p3 F. L4 N: |Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">乃群：6 E3 S- }# {+ |4 J9 P
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。" x. h: K9 P$ [# jmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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孝经
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' P3 ]0 x, C4 l! y' XTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。7 B! Y/ D6 L; X3 P" V3 Hmso-font-kerning:0pt">——3 \; j3 n: u' q8 Wfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
9 B, k- Z9 s8 O( r# S, bmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。! I" o$ Q7 R0 z" _; K
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：/ b9 m) }2 G5 K6 z5 d/ y3 t; U) f$ g
mso-font-kerning:0pt">“& V' _0 ]# i2 r _; B% ~! W- B% Afont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;# |" z& a: C+ {! |+ ]( l# |1 X( A6 w
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。: a9 U; l* e( {% Q0 T( Amso-font-kerning:0pt">”( D) h9 w4 u7 y4 o3 m9 S
font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;. g0 T2 i/ }: H7 T8 e4 C7 b2 z4 K
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个9 w& o( Y3 U. v- h5 w
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬/ ~1 I7 t0 Q& ^ C; n
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3 @7 n1 ~1 S" g* K5 L' |" f6 Dmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为' M& _# q; s( G+ tmso-font-kerning:0pt">“2 q, l/ m" w9 a1 J, R" U
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3 e5 {1 P4 ?5 `& |6 O1 Y" ?4 Nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道& C9 M1 Y! q" n9 mmso-font-kerning:0pt">”2 r; z3 C+ d- m9 Qfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
6 z9 e$ d) ]0 S% D7 jmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。% m/ n0 W: v" @$ B( T" Kmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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- k; O% o; w' @: d' U, A3 g* W7 `' MTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">舍得：! ` m# Y9 ^+ X# L; a0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的' l4 t1 C7 Z: `2 G1 a+ Zmso-font-kerning:0pt">“! O6 C# T% ]" G2 z2 W2 p5 V
font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思9 }4 L6 t9 B9 i1 W
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