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0 T5 a+ Q! X! W, L. X, `' r" Emso-char-indent-count:2.0;line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">% ?# J2 z3 Q3 P' H
方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">8.12! c# x: |6 H4 p/ }) ]+ X* j! r8 @font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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0pt">（根据文字内容整理）
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">1 ^, [ R7 @6 C3 ] k$ u16.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:! m+ W2 f4 F& [& m2 m
楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：1 }1 d# @6 [6 m" Z3 Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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( l( u6 G* D$ a3 S o5 O0 B楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：5 r1 A' z' h+ T! ^6 n3 H: ]
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理：; S$ D% q( q l; b4 ?; ~
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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$ @3 e% p' J7 ~" J5 bmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly"> Z& I1 m4 H' ^! Y. }8 V& N7 c
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, M2 y9 w7 {: a) q) s, j7 b8 _; f- A) qline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; O+ O9 Z4 \, Bfont-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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2 ]& z& u5 H+ n# G$ F9 X% d$ z5 k' u6 a% G7 d2 ^line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">/ ], b: m9 t/ a" T) q: `"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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; T9 L; [1 [; H, t& T4 v' C& ]; Y8 F% }! Q; E- u0 w; W7 M$ A' Dline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">* W+ u( u9 N4 k1 `& N9 a"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">( V. q. e/ _7 @"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。% s# g e& }/ l' P$ U
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0 g. S: G/ u9 L9 r1 ^/ [楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：' _. E/ O; x) r* }( o
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。1 ?# E- U! u- e5 G2 I a
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：. H0 Q& X% d) H& w9 b H
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。1 V. N& ~) m- S. }
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* ?0 A: [' k( b2 X楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">猫老：) A( e/ \; D! v0 bmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。9 [! s0 E- j# x4 R
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢8 a, D& W' L; C( R+ ~, \
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, ~4 [8 k" n; r+ j# [宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">妥否4 t" r" }2 w' u7 d& umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">?
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9 ?& H" v& X( Z; W2 A2 g楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:$ |5 S3 C- Z+ M9 l
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。- o/ e+ {* V" umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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O* ^* @" k+ h3 V/ W楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：0 Z- T Y8 G( w( |& g+ R9 Umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。; W% h0 w) S! {+ s( u
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整个提纲是这样子的：$ b1 J& w4 `$ g1 a/ P( M
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">* d" t0 W/ D2 w, [宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建1 c+ p2 e. G1 ]4 J* hfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;5 `" q1 \# g G( _; c/ ]" X( L) H
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:2 k$ N4 q; k$ G" ^8 ]( |- s+ K
宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、一以贯之谋创建。$ Y: S) ], T. ^8 W8 ~仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">/ ^+ K9 E' D, \- W; O9 g仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20 a; n3 q. E% g4 B+ G- P
仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:
2 x" C- W3 ~9 G9 u' M# [- |0 \宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、规划引领明方向。" \. }9 d5 |4 d& z, K/ @9 P仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。4 b8 A9 A6 a' h0 }* c仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效' W9 q. C' k0 S7 E& e" Z
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的. x# |1 [* E& J4 V2 U) Q% Q
font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
, b5 j/ m% t2 ]% n( N+ Vmso-font-kerning:0pt">“0 K$ Y" j% A/ s! A) O) }7 h; W8 rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏9 a: u6 J" e* V8 F. x5 W5 I) I! Mfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
" y' a5 y5 V3 T9 l) a! u9 [8 umso-font-kerning:0pt">”; b% u( D; `3 n. F3 y+ y' u: _# ]mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。& }4 i) b4 O3 W. M8 U
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 1& R; \* L% q$ V$ a+ S2 u; t9 [
宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。1 I9 ]1 x7 p; v- }. `
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个自然村向中心村集聚，建成了拥有; c/ n: T, j7 Z" W6 vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">533 ?8 h$ q( u2 I, y+ ~3 m) a14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:% f. I; T6 q+ m
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个摊位的废旧钢铁市场，村集体经济年收入9 x1 O" Y- } X, D& a) jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">10005 d+ E2 V! R1 |0 Dmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻8 s9 n; I) l+ a3 n, Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">43 |7 |; b& f* p9 I& H
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z5 K8 }/ D7 p+ T2 t- H. h5 o- `宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口* E( \7 H; t% R7 Y
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人，盘活建设用地# R+ ` Q0 r3 B; w5 }$ i
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+ A f2 R0 u! u9 K7 J" s楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌# i" L- m" ]0 P+ G; Kmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？$ N4 f' A* y5 R* F/ C: e+ X0 o
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:8 }, J" L: e, L7 C3 j3 o. J, K5 Omso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。& M4 ]& j! A$ E9 Tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。3 p' i% }# U$ N0 K7 ]% b1 ~/ I0 t, kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 _7 T0 v: `6 ]* J' w楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：0 G4 d$ b. D. T4 d w# _- [
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。' H. s8 I' M2 Ymso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？ d& C) }% E' F0 F1 n/ s8 ?
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, E: P, L) M; R* z7 s% r8 U楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:" Y3 n2 t! N Q3 A0 l1 e( ?* Xmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。/ {8 t" K0 f; [- ]* Q" I+ z5 C' |1 Gmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的: p7 e$ g* Q6 R1 A1 Q5 i
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5 w# ^. Q! ]( }宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏3 X9 [7 J" r' ^( s/ f4 Vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”6 N# s+ D2 R4 o4 r$ a% I$ W14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
4 A; \7 _: G8 t9 r, w6 m宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。* O2 [/ A" Q7 r( L6 i; ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。- E6 W! y2 I' Q8 I V+ b" }( l
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。' E, q8 P# H, c2 ~9 G- @
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。' Q! c6 h1 x5 {* |; W
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. ^' |6 H5 C9 R6 U! R' H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:, p, v' x, ^- _ n P) y) v/ i
font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。/ C" [! d$ R3 r5 c- X
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？8 k7 W- z; U4 k, D3 {, B: A$ k
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。, J+ V' h8 K5 n; \& b/ v
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：5 Y5 X8 R& n T7 J0 a1 K l
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。& D1 T. j8 g0 a! P2 y
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:4 i- V- }, r$ z' M' |4 dmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。: c, B6 v: y) o C
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">- P% L& G& e2 j0 t14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
' }& R/ g7 k. [. G8 L/ e" Y楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:3 A# H# V$ x" ?mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。: a* ~! Y1 j" h5 M* a. j/ Vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。; g. Z0 F; ]) \0 R/ E% J9 p: I. k
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。( ?3 ^) e. ]. D2 Q! }; C" I2 pmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。! A: W& e* T4 M8 V8 a Kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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/ e+ c6 s+ I0 W# [mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路. F. E- B, W" c4 N, o
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上，我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容，材料的骨架，也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。 [" j& o8 ^" t9 K+ Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
提升卡
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300x180 AD
